The other side...

I have delved into this world of surrogacy because I want to help another couple experience the same joy as I have with my kiddos. Aside from all the chaos,fights, and messes that go along with raising two boys, they are so sweet. They make me smile every day and I simply can not picture my world with out them. I have thought a lot about couples that can not conceive. I think I can imagine what it would be like to be in the IP's shoes, but fact is, I don't. How could I ever possibly?

I stumbled upon a blog today of an IP's journey into surrogacy from the parents perspective and it brought me to tears. The struggles and the ups and downs of the whole process were heart wrenching. This discovery has shed a new light on the whole subject for me. I have seen things a little differently and I hope it will help me remember why I started this journey in the first place...especially when I do become pregnant and start complaining about heartburn, and swollen feet. =)

I know it will prove to be a positive experience for me. Yes, I will feel really good inside and yadda yadda yadda, but nothing compares to how the parents of the child(ren) will feel when all is said and done. For the parents, this is a dream come true! I feel like I could take all of the excitement and happiness I experience through this process and double it (or maybe quadruple it!) and it still wouldn't hold a candle to what these parents would feel. I gotta say, from my side, it feels really good to know that I get to play a part in helping them to achieve that happiness...I can't wait!

Just a quick little update...

So I have officially given the go ahead on starting over. I just got re-approved for the insurance, did all of my labs again and freshened up my original application/profile. It's hard to believe I filled that out a year ago! I thought for sure it would all be over and done by now. Anyway, I am now working on finding that perfect match and I think we may have found them. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it will all work out just as it should. Let the whirlwind begin...again.

The results are in...

Well I got the call yesterday and I am not pregnant. I'll start by saying I guess I am not that surprised because of the five embryos thawed on the last transfer, only one survived and it was a "C" quality. That was the one we implanted. I was really wishing and hoping for a miracle.

Now that this is done though, I have to say, I am bummed on so many levels. This is the end of my journey with these IP's. They only had 11 embryos to start and they are not going to go through the whole process again. Their attitude from the start was "Whatever is meant to be will be." I guess that is a good way to look at life. I have learned a lot from them and really grown close to them. I know certain people are put in our lives for a reason and I am thankful to have gone through this journey with them. They are wonderful parents already and hopefully I'll still get updates from time to time.

I will go for a "re-match" and post more on that journey to come. All I have to say is the next IP's have a tough act to follow. I hope we have a different outcome next time. What can I say...whatever is meant to be, will be.