Happy Half Year Birthday!

My little surro sweeties turned 6 months old! They are growing up so fast and getting so big! I couldn't let this milestone slip by with out a picture. Enjoy.

A sad little Kelsie, Mr. Riley and Caitlin.  I think its hard enough to get one baby looking at the camera and smiling, it's gotta be near impossible with three!  That's gotta be the cutest sad face I've seen though. 

Happy half year sweetie pies!

Inquiring minds want to know...

I still get a lot of questions about my journey and I imagine I will for a while. For the most part I am more than happy to answer questions and talk about it.  I am pretty darn proud of this accomplishment.

One of the most common is if I am still in contact with the family.  

(I know they get the same question in reverse all the time.) 

My answer to this is "How could I not be? 

They are amazing and wonderful people.  We have been through such an intimate and experience together our friendship is only natural.  I love them all to pieces!

The other question I get A LOT is if it was hard for me to "give up" the babies.  

I have to admit, I really have to practice patience with this question because I know they were never mine to begin with so how could I be "giving them up"?  Problem is that so many people are just plain uneducated when it comes to surrogacy.  When I get this question, I know I have to go back to basics and explain the whole process. I patiently explain that there is no biological connection.  When you go into this knowing that simple fact, it is WAY different than when it is your own little bundle of joy poking you in the ribs.  People will either get or they won't.  My hope is that they WILL get it and share with someone else and realize what an awesome thing surrogacy can be.  

 Inquiring minds also want to know details into the compensation.  

From my point of view, the compensation for pain and suffering played such a minor role in the scheme of things.  I mean I carried triplets for goodness sake and to answer the next inevitable question...No, that does not mean that the compensation triples.  Let me tell you though, they want the details! I have had complete strangers ask me very specific questions and I finally have to say "Why don't you Google it?" 

Another really popular question is about my attachment to the babies.  

My answer to this is of course I absolutely care about there well being and I think they are  precious!  I care about them more like I care for my nieces though.  They are special to me and I want nothing but the best for the 3 of them.  That's why I signed up to be a surrogate in the first place.  The simple fact that their parents were willing to risk it all to have this family makes my heart swell. 

 

Happy Trans-iversary!!!

A year ago today was the day of our transfer.  A whole year people!  I can not believe how fast the time went.  Believe me when I say some days seemed to drag on FOREVER!  

A year ago today I was standing in the little doctors office making some difficult decisions on whether to transfer two or three embryos with my FIP's.  So many "What ifs?" were going through our minds and the biggest was "What if all three DO take?".  

We were all a bit freaked out.  I sat there inverted on the table with a full bladder and we all were concentrating on small talk.  Meanwhile our minds were racing with every imaginable scenario.  

I remember it like it was yesterday.  

 To think that now those three little embryos that all of our hopes were pinned on grew into such adorable, chubby sweet little babies is nothing short of a miracle. 
I look at all of the videos and pictures of those sweet little babes and I can't help but feel so grateful that all three did take.  

What a wild ride this has been, but I am grateful for every second. 

Happy New Year!

Better late that never, right?  

Someone recently told me you are totally allowed to wish everyone a happy new year through January so I'm sticking with that.  

I had to get that out there before February or I'd be outta luck.  

So, with every January I get sort of contemplative.  

I look back at all my old pictures and remember all of the good times past.  

Last year, was a good year.  

A little rocky, yes, but one of the most memorable ever.  

I decided in all of my contemplative-ness to make a little video of our surrogacy journey as a little gift to my "Former IP's".  (FIP's as we surros say)  I thought I would share it here with all of you.  

Just a little tip to save you some frustration, the video couldn't be shared on mobile devices because it is 1 minute too long.  

So get to your computer and click HERE to see it.  

I'm sure you can't believe this, well I can't anyway, but those little surro sweeties are 4 1/2 months old now!!!  They are doing fantastic and are absolutely adorable if I do say so myself.

Here's one of the latest pix.

Riley, Kelsie and Caitlin

So, to all you surros pregnant, playing the waiting game, just given birth...whatever, I hope you have a fabulous 2012.  To all of the IP's out there no matter where you are in your journey, I hope this is the year for you!  Of course for everyone else, I hope 2012 is your happiest yet.

Merry Christmas!

So for those of you that are not on my mailing list, here's a copy of our Christmas card.  We wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas!  

We hope your day is filled with family friends and love. 

Back in the Saddle

Well, I have had my ups and downs in the last ten weeks that's for sure.  Just a little warning here, I am going on a bit of an emotional rant here and it's gonna' be a long one.  Prepare yourselves. 

I have been diving in head first with my family.  I feel as though I have been making up for lost time.  I have always been a super hands on and involved Mom.  The last couple of months in this pregnancy I was basically absent.  I was doing the bare minimum and relying on my family so much.  I know it's probably my hormones talking, but I have felt such guilt over this.  I missed my sons first day of Kindergarten and that was so important to me.  I will never get that day back.  My Wonderful Hubby did skype me in to the boys first day of school from my hospital room, but it was not the same as being there.  It was really sweet though.  After hanging up, I promptly had a melt down right in front of my doctor.  I'm talking ugly cry complete with snorting like a pig people.  

Anyway, I know I did a wonderful thing.  I am absolutely proud of what I accomplished.  Given the circumstances I did the best I could and I gave it my all.  Rationally I know this.  My irrational side makes me feel guilty though.  Guilty for not being there when i was needed for my family. So, to compensate for this guilt, I have been spending a lot of time volunteering in the boys classrooms, taking them on special Mommy and Son outings and I even joined the PTA for goodness sake!  All I can say is that I am really trying to enjoy them as much as I can.  I am keeping really busy and i feel like time is flying.  I am trying to take in every moment because I know all to well that I will never get these moments back either.  I have come to have a new appreciation for my kids through this process.

I have also been trying to really take better care of my Husband.  He took such good care of me through this pregnancy.   I can not tell you how grateful I am to have him.  He cooked cleaned, grocery shopped, took care of the kiddos, listened to an emotional and very pregnant wife's whining and worked his butt off everyday to bring home the bacon.  I have guilt over this too.  So, ya, I have to make up for some lost time here too.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be physically able to care for my family again, but I am really having trouble getting back into the swing of things.  I have also gotten used to having a housekeeper and not having to worry about things like making dinner or working out.  I am weaning off of my housekeeper, and slowly getting back into cooking. I am also starting to workout again and let me just say, I am outta' shape!  I gained 38 pounds total and with in 3 weeks of having them, I lost 60.  I had some serious trouble fitting food into my belly and although I felt I was always eating, the babies were eating more.  As crazy as that is, I am now left with some serious toning to do.  Needless to say, I'm feeling some pressure lately.  Everyday I am wondering how I am going to keep up with these expectations I have put on myself. 

Through all of this, I am also trying to wean off of pumping for the triplets.  Unfortunately, this also means weaning off my new addiction to cupcakes too!  As crazy as this sounds, I'm a little sad to be done pumping because it's the last physical evidence that I just finished doing this fantastic journey.  Maybe this is partly "the blues" that so many women struggle with.  I don't know, but luckily I am a pretty positive person and I am positive it will get better and I'll soon be back to normal.

As for the bambinos, it's now been ten weeks since my little surro  babes were born. TEN!!!  I can't believe it.  They are continuing to do fantastic.  They are putting on the pounds.  Caitlin has pulled ahead of the pack on weight.  {I think she is storing it all in her chubby cheeks.}  Little miss Kelsie has already doubled her birth weight.  Riley is steadily packing the pounds on as well, but he better watch out for these girls!  I still get updates all the time and I can't tell you how much I enjoy all of the updates and pictures.  

The triplets were peas in a pod for Halloween.  Both appropriate and adorable don't you think?

I see these pictures and I am so grateful to think that I helped do that. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I have learned so much from this experience.  I am still learning. 

So, that's my really looong and brutally honest update.  I warned you.   Luckily my rational side is telling me that yes, it's been really hard getting back into the swing of things, but it will get easier.  Anyway, I feel better already just getting all that out. 

Thanks for listening.  :)

One whole month...already?!?!

Happy birthday Caitlin, Kelsie and Riley!  I can not believe it has already been a whole month since these three precious bundles were brought into the world.  So much has happened in this month. 
All three babies were released from the NICU and brought home.  They are seriously thriving in their new environment.    I can't help take a little credit for this because I am pumping and shipping breast milk. They are starting to get the chubby cheeks and double chins that change their looks so much.  (Why can't this look cute on all of us adults?)  

I am not, however, getting up with them all night long for round the clock feedings times three.  I'm also not changing 30 diapers a day!  No, the real credit goes to their parents. They are truly embracing parenthood and loving this precious time with their babies.  I get updates and pictures a few times a week and I love hearing all of the news.  It warms my heart to hear what good parents they are and to know that these babies are a part of such a loving home.  

This right here is the whole reason I became a surrogate.  Seeing and hearing all about this family I helped create is wonderful.  When people ask me why I did this, they automatically assume it was about the money.  It's hard to put my feelings into words on the subject, but it is about so much more.  I have gotten so much more.  I know it's hard to understand, especially for those who have not been a surrogate, but all I can say is my heart feels happy.

Can you believe they all fit in my belly?!?!  I still have a hard time believing it!

Caitlin, Kelsie, and Riley

I just had to share...