Merry Christmas!

So for those of you that are not on my mailing list, here's a copy of our Christmas card.  We wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas!  

We hope your day is filled with family friends and love. 

Back in the Saddle

Well, I have had my ups and downs in the last ten weeks that's for sure.  Just a little warning here, I am going on a bit of an emotional rant here and it's gonna' be a long one.  Prepare yourselves. 

I have been diving in head first with my family.  I feel as though I have been making up for lost time.  I have always been a super hands on and involved Mom.  The last couple of months in this pregnancy I was basically absent.  I was doing the bare minimum and relying on my family so much.  I know it's probably my hormones talking, but I have felt such guilt over this.  I missed my sons first day of Kindergarten and that was so important to me.  I will never get that day back.  My Wonderful Hubby did skype me in to the boys first day of school from my hospital room, but it was not the same as being there.  It was really sweet though.  After hanging up, I promptly had a melt down right in front of my doctor.  I'm talking ugly cry complete with snorting like a pig people.  

Anyway, I know I did a wonderful thing.  I am absolutely proud of what I accomplished.  Given the circumstances I did the best I could and I gave it my all.  Rationally I know this.  My irrational side makes me feel guilty though.  Guilty for not being there when i was needed for my family. So, to compensate for this guilt, I have been spending a lot of time volunteering in the boys classrooms, taking them on special Mommy and Son outings and I even joined the PTA for goodness sake!  All I can say is that I am really trying to enjoy them as much as I can.  I am keeping really busy and i feel like time is flying.  I am trying to take in every moment because I know all to well that I will never get these moments back either.  I have come to have a new appreciation for my kids through this process.

I have also been trying to really take better care of my Husband.  He took such good care of me through this pregnancy.   I can not tell you how grateful I am to have him.  He cooked cleaned, grocery shopped, took care of the kiddos, listened to an emotional and very pregnant wife's whining and worked his butt off everyday to bring home the bacon.  I have guilt over this too.  So, ya, I have to make up for some lost time here too.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be physically able to care for my family again, but I am really having trouble getting back into the swing of things.  I have also gotten used to having a housekeeper and not having to worry about things like making dinner or working out.  I am weaning off of my housekeeper, and slowly getting back into cooking. I am also starting to workout again and let me just say, I am outta' shape!  I gained 38 pounds total and with in 3 weeks of having them, I lost 60.  I had some serious trouble fitting food into my belly and although I felt I was always eating, the babies were eating more.  As crazy as that is, I am now left with some serious toning to do.  Needless to say, I'm feeling some pressure lately.  Everyday I am wondering how I am going to keep up with these expectations I have put on myself. 

Through all of this, I am also trying to wean off of pumping for the triplets.  Unfortunately, this also means weaning off my new addiction to cupcakes too!  As crazy as this sounds, I'm a little sad to be done pumping because it's the last physical evidence that I just finished doing this fantastic journey.  Maybe this is partly "the blues" that so many women struggle with.  I don't know, but luckily I am a pretty positive person and I am positive it will get better and I'll soon be back to normal.

As for the bambinos, it's now been ten weeks since my little surro  babes were born. TEN!!!  I can't believe it.  They are continuing to do fantastic.  They are putting on the pounds.  Caitlin has pulled ahead of the pack on weight.  {I think she is storing it all in her chubby cheeks.}  Little miss Kelsie has already doubled her birth weight.  Riley is steadily packing the pounds on as well, but he better watch out for these girls!  I still get updates all the time and I can't tell you how much I enjoy all of the updates and pictures.  

The triplets were peas in a pod for Halloween.  Both appropriate and adorable don't you think?

I see these pictures and I am so grateful to think that I helped do that. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I have learned so much from this experience.  I am still learning. 

So, that's my really looong and brutally honest update.  I warned you.   Luckily my rational side is telling me that yes, it's been really hard getting back into the swing of things, but it will get easier.  Anyway, I feel better already just getting all that out. 

Thanks for listening.  :)

One whole month...already?!?!

Happy birthday Caitlin, Kelsie and Riley!  I can not believe it has already been a whole month since these three precious bundles were brought into the world.  So much has happened in this month. 
All three babies were released from the NICU and brought home.  They are seriously thriving in their new environment.    I can't help take a little credit for this because I am pumping and shipping breast milk. They are starting to get the chubby cheeks and double chins that change their looks so much.  (Why can't this look cute on all of us adults?)  

I am not, however, getting up with them all night long for round the clock feedings times three.  I'm also not changing 30 diapers a day!  No, the real credit goes to their parents. They are truly embracing parenthood and loving this precious time with their babies.  I get updates and pictures a few times a week and I love hearing all of the news.  It warms my heart to hear what good parents they are and to know that these babies are a part of such a loving home.  

This right here is the whole reason I became a surrogate.  Seeing and hearing all about this family I helped create is wonderful.  When people ask me why I did this, they automatically assume it was about the money.  It's hard to put my feelings into words on the subject, but it is about so much more.  I have gotten so much more.  I know it's hard to understand, especially for those who have not been a surrogate, but all I can say is my heart feels happy.

Can you believe they all fit in my belly?!?!  I still have a hard time believing it!

Caitlin, Kelsie, and Riley

I just had to share...

Birth Story...

I have been thinking over and over how tho start this post.    I know I haven't updated in a while so I will try and pick up where I left off with a quick update on the past few weeks.  Just a warning though...this is going to be a long post so grab a cup of coffee and settle in for a while.  

I last posted at about 31 weeks and at this point we were beginning to do the non-stress tests on the babies.  I went in once a week and the babies continued to pass with flying colors.  Each one was "practice breathing", very active, and their heart rates were always right on target.  I always left the hospital with a smile on my face knowing that these little buns were baking so beautifully in my oven.

I also had weekly check ups with my OB.  They continued to go really well.  My Doctor  thought for sure we were going to make it all the way to 36 weeks.  One thing we all know though about pregnancy though is that things can change with the blink of an eye.

So Tuesday (8-23) I went in for a regular check up with my OB and everything looked great.  I felt a little "different", but was assured my blood pressure and labs looked great.  I thought I was just doing to much and not resting enough.   I was pregnant with three babies after all.  So we left it with that.

The next day was supposed to be my kids first day of school and my 6 year was turning 7.  Mind you,  I had given the triplets strict instructions to stay in my belly until I got my kiddos through their first day of school.  Control freak much?  Anyway, my best laid plans veered off track for sure.  A rail car with a huge tank of propane caught fire Tuesday afternoon and my son's birthday wish came true.  Not only was the first day of school cancelled, the entire first week was cancelled as well.  A lot of families were evacuated from their homes.  There was talk of evacuation in our neighborhood too, but luckily it was just talk.

So we went ahead with a few small birthday plans and had a good day.  That night, (Wednesday) My legs and feet morphed into one long, puffy extension out of my hips and I could barely bend them at the ankle or the knee.  I was feeling concerned about this, but knowing I had another non-stress test in the morning, I went to bed and got as good nights sleep as I could.

Thursday morning, my legs did not look any better and were actually quite painful.  I went to the Non-stress test expecting nothing but the predictable since I had just been to my OB 2 days before.  So first thing they do is check your weight and I had gained 6 pounds in 6 days!!!  I had only gained about 31 pounds so far with this pregnancy so this was a complete shock.  I saw the look on the nurses face and watched her eyes linger on my swollen feet.  I kinda' knew what was coming when she said, "Why don't we check your urine?"  (For those who don't know, they check urine for protein which is a possible sign of pre-eclampsia.)

We went into the fetal testing room and she got on the phone to call my doctor.  I heard her say it was a 4+ on the protein and my doctor asked to talk to me.  She handed me the phone and my doctor told me they were sending me over to labor and delivery for further testing.  I of course, being hormonal and all, started to cry and as soon as I left the office I called my hubby.  He called my IP’s for me and took them by surprise. 

My hubby came to the hospital to meet me and told me that A was driving to Sac as we speak.  When A got there, he said S was jumping on a plane and would also be there shortly.  I of course felt really bad because what if this was nothing?  I didn’t want to be an inconvenience for nothing but further testing.  Anyway, I’m so glad they listened to their intuition and got here when they did.   So the Docs ran some labs, did an ultrasound and some fetal monitoring.   They came back and said I was definitely checking in.  It looked like pre-eclampsia and the only cure for that is delivery.  So much for all of my well laid plans…

Everyone could tell I was a bit disappointed with the turn of events.  I knew at this point that I would surly miss the first day of kindergarten for my 5 year old and the first day of 2nd grade for my 7 year old.  Again…control freak much?  This situation was clearly out of my control though.   So the Docs came up with a plan and we went ahead with it.  They were giving me a dose of betamethosone (a shot to develop the babies lungs quickly) right away (Thursday).  They were giving me another dose 24 hours later as long as I held stable (Friday).  Then Saturday morning if all still looked good, was delivery day. 

So, I got the first dose and checked in to the hospital.  They continued to monitor my labs and with each new blood draw, my stats continued to detereriorate.  I also started having scattered contractions.  They started me on Magnesium sulfate (awful stuff) because it was clear things were going down hill fast and I was developing HELLP syndrome also. (Scary stuff!)  

IP's and my Hubby told them to get over to the hospital ASAP.  My husband barely made it.  He was literally suiting up while we were wheeling the bed away.  Everything felt so rushed and crazy.  

The doctors had assembled an army of doctors to quickly "catch and assess" the babies as they were delivered and another small army on hand in the delivery room itself.  Unfortunately, I was only allowed my husband to be with me because of the number of people needed and the size of the OR itself.  In case you were wondering there were 13 people in the OR including my Husband and I.    

The delivery went as well as we could have expected.  The babies were delivered with in one minute of each other and were whisked away so quickly I didn't even get to see them.  I heard their sweet little wails as they were pulled from their warm and cozy oven and couldn't help but smile. 

I, on the other hand, had lost almost 2 liters of blood and my platelet count went down extremely low.  So low, they did not even feel comfortable removing my spinal block for fear that I would not be able to clot properly.  I had to have a blood transfusion and a platelet transfusion.  While receiving the transfusions in the recovery room, the nurse checked my incision, urine output and bedding.  She immediately called my Doctor back in and gave everyone else non necessary the boot.  To my surprise my OB happened to be in the hospital and was at my side.  So were the two doctors that delivered the babies and the pernatologist I had been seeing too.  I felt so well taken care of and touched that all of these doctors that helped so much through out this journey were there to help in my time of need.  Things got a little more chaotic as they explained I was losing more blood and a lot of clots.  They decided to give me something to dialate my cervix a bit to extract the clots.   Luckily I was still numb from the waist down and they were quick and efficient.  I stayed in the recovery suite for a while before checking into my room just to be sure everything was going ok.  The anesthesiologist explained that until my platelets were on the rise again I would have to leave the catheter in my back and that it could be a couple days.  

Meanwhile, the waiting room was full of my worried family and friends.  I had no idea who was there and not, but come to find out A wouldn't leave the waiting room to follow the babies until I was deemed out of the woods.  I couldn't believe it.  I was so very touched. It was a scary ordeal for sure, but I can't explain the calm I felt in the midst of all of the chaos.  I just know everything was going to be ok.

The babies were all doing really well.  They needed a little help with feedings, oxygen and IV's, but they are truly beating the odds for triplets.  I am so proud to have delivered these little fighters into this world.  

Are you ready for the final stats? 

It was 2 girls and 1 boy as expected, but no one expected them to be quite so big.

Caitlin~ 4lbs. 14 oz.  18" long

Kelsie~ 3lbs.  11 oz.  17" long

Riley~ 5lbs.  4 oz.  17" long

Is it just me or was that  a whole lotta baby in my belly? 

Through out this whole experience, I have felt so well cared for and so lucky to have so many people who love and care about me.  I made it to 33.6 weeks which I have to say beat a lot of  expectations.  It has been such a whirlwind of a ride, but worth every second of it.  I remember waking up almost every morning and having to remind myself it was triplets.  Now I look at these sweet babies and think how utterly impossible it is to have delivered them.  It still is, and probably always will be truly unbelievable.  Even given all of the discomfort, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.   We beat so many odds in this process and I can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment looking back.  I was not on bed rest or hospitalized like so many thought I would be at the end and I have so many people who care about me to thank for that.  I especially could not have done this with out the support of my husband.  He is a remarkable man and I think this journey has brought us even closer.  The support I felt from all of my family and friends was and is more than I can describe with words.  

The Triplets are here!!!

I'm going to keep this short and sweet for now...

Last Friday August 26th, 2011, I delivered three little bundles of joy.  We are all doing really well.  The babies continue to amaze everyone with how well they are adjusting to this outside world.  It's so wonderful to see....

No worries, I am working on the details of the whole story, but just thought you might want to know. 

Have a great weekend!  =)

Belly pic 31 weeks

Alright folks, here it is.  This is the 31 week belly pic.  Oh and yes, I am aware that I look like a vampire with my pale, pasty skin.  I avoid the summer heat and sun like I will burn to a crisp in 60 seconds.  Unless I am in transit from one air conditioned venue to another, or taking a belly pic, you will not see me outside.

Due to the size of this belly of mine...

I am now sleeping with 4-5 pillows in various propped spots all over my body ever night.

I can no longer do the Macarena, or any other dance that involves actually moving or bending of the belly.

I can not paint my own toes.  Shout out to my sister Beckie for "Shellac-ing" them for me. **By the way, if you haven't tried Shellac yet, I HIGHLY recommend it.

I breath and grunt like I am lifting 100 pounds of rice just rolling over in bed.

I can no longer sit like a lady.  It really is physically impossible.

I can not reach my right hand to my left hip and vice versa.

I have turned the stove on a few times with no hands...the belly did it.

I can not see my feet and cankles jiggling as I walk...but I can feel it though! 

 My 5 year old hits his head on my belly AT LEAST twice a day.  He's at just the right height.  Luckily he thinks this is funny.

Ok, so enough about the belly.  

Happy Monday everybody!

31 weeks!

I know I've been pretty quiet lately, but quiet is good when you're 31 weeks pregnant with triplets!  I have been so busy getting all of my ducks in a row lately, blogging has been simmering on the back burner.  Sorry!!!

What have I been doing you ask?  Well, between doctor appointments, ultrasounds, two busy boys on summer vacation and just life in general, I have been trying to prepare and plan for the next few weeks.  I know there is really no such thing as "planning" when it comes to having babies, but I have to try!  Not to mention, my kids are also getting ready to go back to school and everything is sort of coming to a head at once.  Oh, and I am so dang tired lately, I feel mighty proud to just get out of the house and grab a gallon of milk. 

So, In the past couple of weeks, I have managed to get my hospital bag packed, bought back to school clothes, school supplies, and had an ultrasound, a hospital tour and 2 doctor appointments.  This may not sound like much, but believe me when I say these were HUGE hurdles for me.  Unfortunately, I think grocery shopping is off my list of things to do.  I can't really stand, lift and walk for any real length of time anymore.  So I either have them delivered or my awesome Mom does the shopping for me.  {Thanks Mom!}

At my last OB appointment, my doctor was so thrilled with my progress it was contagious.  I waddled my way in there feeling bleh, and left with a smile on my face.  She's "tentatively" scheduling the delivery for September 13th.  {Remember Lucky 13?}  My doctor has complete faith in me {and my cervix} to hold out until then.  Woo-hoo! So that's my new goal...36 weeks.

Anyway, that's what's going on with me...as for the wee ones, they are doing awesome.  They are growing so quickly and getting so strong it is always so amazing to see and feel them move around.  The ultrasound showed just how great they are doing and it's so reassuring.  My IP's are busily preparing for their arrival.  They've had a few baby showers and they have so many friends and family members that are anxiously awaiting the arrival of these little peanuts,  I love knowing these babies are being born into a family that already loves them so much.

I don't have a belly pic tonight, but soon I promise!  So I leave you with this...the cause for my sleepless nights.  It was on a pamphlet at the doctors office and it cracked me up. Imagine three little ones bouncing on your bladder!  I'm up every hour almost to the minute...

Okay, so that was REALLY long winded.  

I guess maybe if I updated more often, I wouldn't have to write a book. Ha!