Here we go yo!

We got our calender!  Woot Woot!  Needless to say we are all thrilled and so ready.  Looks like we will be doing the transfer toward the end of January.  I got all my meds today and start those lovely injections at the end of the month.  It feels so good to have a date in the near future.  

It has been kinda' weird being in this limbo state that I have been in.  Back in March 2009 I go and tell my friends and family the news.  I address all of the questions, the surprised stares  and a wee bit of drama that goes along with it.  I was strong and determined though.  I knew I had the support of my peeps behind me and gosh darn-it, I am going to be a surrogate!  I thought whew, glad I got that outta the way.  Now when can we do this?  

{I am not always the most patient} I was ready to go.  

So here we are almost two years later {still ready to go} and I feel like the little boy who cried wolf.

"I'm gonna' be a surrogate!"

"Ya ya we heard you...we'll believe it when we see it."

I still get the occasional "So what's going on with the whole surrogacy thing?"  I find myself thinking, "Your guess is as good as mine!"  I don't get into detail with very many people because if there is one thing I have learned through this process it's that things change ALL the time. 

But...

Anyone who really knows me, knows I am a determined soul.  When I put my mind to something, I see it through.  I am seeing this one through.  I feel like it is my mission. 

I want to help someone else experience the same joy I get from my little ankle biters...That joy is like pure crack to me.  I can't get enough of it.  I love my kids more than anything. 

I want my IP's to get the happily ever after that they deserve.

So here we are.  I'm still here.  I'm almost there.  

I can't wait. I'm gonna' do this. I am so thrilled. =)

A little tid bit

Well, although we are mostly concentrating on Christmas around here, we have had some forward motion.  The doctor did start me on the pill to be able to sync my cycle with the egg donor. Speaking of, as I understand it, we are just waiting around for her cycle to start and then the calender will be made.  Yahoo!  I am not really sure how the fresh cycle is done, as I have only done the 2 frozen, but I am anxious to see if there is much of a difference.

Oddly, I am looking forward to a package of needles coming my way...I don't think I have ever been quite so thrilled at the prospect of inflicting pain on myself.  Weird huh?=)

An update...well kind of...

I can't believe it has been almost a month since my last post!  So let's see...since my last post we have settled on a egg donor.  She is actually the third choice fro my IP's.  It's been really frustrating for them, and me too might I add!  

The whole egg donor thing has really gotten me thinking though.  As a married and fertile woman, I chose my partner {or mate} because I fell in love with him, flaws and all.  What if you were choosing that partner based on what you deemed to be the perfect genetic match for makin' babies?  That's essentially what they are doing.  Granted, they don't have to live with there egg donor for the next 18 years or so, but they do have to live with her offspring. Well that sure throws a wrench in the whole plan eh? What a crazy decision to have to make!  This one has a twitch, that one's nose is crooked, oh and that one has a crazy voice...I can't listen to that for the rest of my life...etc...Definitely not a decision to be taken lightly.  Yes I think it would drive me to insanity.  

So as for my IP's, going through all of those profiles and choosing who you think will be the perfect one only to have them not pass their tests.  Wow, I would be frustrated too!  I really wish they were screened prior to having their profiles visible.  yeah I know there's a whole system in place for a reason, but I'm just sayin'...So anyway, we do finally have a donor and she has passed her tests. Yay!

So moving on...

  

In other news, I spoke with the Doc and he was trying to squeeze a cycle in before the end of the year.  At first I was totally on board.  Let's get this show on the road!  Then he starts working out a calender and unfortunately it would have put me traveling on Christmas eve.  Part of me wanted to say "Yes!  I'll do it!", but my little munchkins get soooo excited about Christmas that I simply could not be away so close to all of the hoopla.  So with some regret, we have pushed the transfer into January.  I think we made the right decision and my IP's agree it was the right thing to do.  

Even though we are all super anxious, having a date in mind does make the wait a wee bit more bearable.  We will all enjoy the holidays and have so much to look forward to in the new year.  So, once again we will wait...but I know it will be worth it!

Slowly but Surely...

Not too much to report just yet, but we did officially get our legal clearance.  Woo hoo! 

On another note, my IP's have also chosen yet another egg donor.  This makes it our third and hopefully our last. Third times a charm right? 

So we are moving right along, slowly but surely. 

Just a quick update on my previous post for those of you who checked out "Share the Love".   Emily and her Family raised $7,000 with her fundraiser!  Talk about putting a HUGE dent in those adoption fees!  At this rate they will be able to bring home their little girl by Christmas for sure.  I'm so thrilled for them...

Share the love

Ok, so first off this has nothing to do with surrogacy, but it does have to do with completing a family so I thought I would share. My fellow blogger, mom, photographer and friend {Emily} is adopting a little girl from Africa. She is an orphan and her name is Elsabeth {yes, the spelling is correct}. It is not my story to tell so I won't try, besides she tells it perfectly on her blog. If you want to learn more click here. Emily and her family really want to bring her home and they came up with a genius idea to get the community involved. Anyway, Share the love and have a happy Wednesday!

A speed bump...

So here we are moving right along, contracts are almost finalized, calenders are being made and we are {finally} getting some forward momentum when....our egg donor comes in with not one, but two STD's! Yikes!

Thank goodness for medical screening is all I have to say! So, unfortunately we will be delayed another month at least. We are all bummed, but keeping our eye on the light at the end of the tunnel.

I've always said, "On the way to wherever you're goin', you're bound to hit a red light or two, but eventually they turn green." I'm stickin' with that! =)

Alrighty, I have a free night with no kiddos tonight, I am going to enjoy it!

Some positive PR

Can I just say, I love happy endings!

In case you missed it...

A Must See...

I just wanted to give a heads up to everyone...tomorrow night {September 29Th 2010} there will be a special on ABC's Nightline featuring surrogacy. Apparently it is about a couple welcoming triplets via surrogate. The family worked with the same agency as me {Growing Generations}. That's all I know about it so far, but I can't wait to see it! So, set your TIVOS people. It is not very often surrogacy is in the media...especially in a positive light. If you happen to miss it, it will be available for viewing September 30Th online.

click this link
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?catId=1206872

That's all for now folks!

getting the ducks in a row...

I haven't posted anything in a while because there is nothing really new to report. I'm in the middle of one of those holding patterns where people are busily getting things done, and I'm (thankfully) not having to do much on the surrogacy front right now. I like to call it the calm before the storm. Contracts are being drawn up, the ED is going through screening and it will all come through right around the same time and I'll hit the ground running. (Can't wait!)

Of course, I would love to say I have been sitting around eating bon bons, patiently waiting for some news, but I have been a busy lil' Mama! My oldest son started 1st grade and my youngest started preschool. Need I say more?

So, while I have been oh so patiently waiting, my IP's sent me something pretty to look at...talk about make my day! Oh, and they sent chocolates (yummm) and a lil' bear too...so sweet!!!

Lucky 13

Well, we had our match meeting Friday and it went really well. Actually that is a bit of an understatement, it went fabulous! We ended up meeting the IP's in the lobby of the agency on our way up the elevator. We were all a bit nervous and chatty, but all smiles. At the agency, we had our little awkward talk about all of the lovely "what ifs" that may or may not happen. {I hoping for the may not!} So after we got all that out of the way {and with a huge sigh of relief that that part was behind us} we went to lunch. We really did have a great time together. My husband and I felt almost instantly connected. They are truly wonderful people. We are so excited to embark on this journey with them.

We flew there and back all in one day and let me tell you, that's exhausting! I slept like a lump on a log that night. So as a side note here, freaky thing happened on this Friday the 13th, our boarding pass was B 13, our lunch was $13.87. my change back was 13 cents, and the agency's office pad was on the 13th floor. Crazy right? I think 13 might have to be my new lucky number, especially with how well our day went!


So here's the next steps as of right now given we don't have any delays. This time around I will be going through a fresh cycle. They are finalizing everything with their egg donor and while they do that contracts are being drawn up. We will get the legal mumbo jumbo out of the way and then as I understand it, I will sync my cycle with the donor. {That means more injections...YIKES!} Once we are synced and she is ready to "donate" we will do the transfer. We are hoping to do the transfer no later than December, but wishing for October... You never know what could come up though so we'll see. Anyway that's that in a nutshell. I keep posting on this roller coaster as things start moving again...

Signed,
One excited, giddy, hopeful surro-mamma. =)

Count Down

Alrighty...the count down is on and I am officially getting pumped. We have set up or match meet. It was a bit tricky with scheduling, but we found a day and our tickets are booked. We only have 13 days left...I am sooo excited! Several people have told me that Friday the 13Th is a lucky day. I sure hope they are right! I can't wait to jump on to this roller coaster again. Did I mention that I'm excited? =)

hurry up and wait...

OK, bare with me for a moment, I am going to vent and get it off my chest. Hurry up and wait. I feel like that is the theme of this process. Fill this out, call this person back, go in for some blood work yadda yadda yadda and then wait and wait and wait. I so want to get things going and I'm sure it will pick up again soon, it's just that I am so excited to go our match meeting, unfortunately it's not until mid-August. uuuggghhh... the waiting! I think the anticipation is just too much for me. I am normally such a patient person, but I filled out my original application March of 2009!

Anyway, I guess it's not like I don't have anything to keep me busy with two little ankle-biters running around. I'll just enjoy the precious few weeks left of summer vacation and do our waiting by the pool having some fun...throw in a couple of umbrella drinks and hey, the waiting may even be tolerable. Thanks for letting me vent for a few...I feel better now. =)

They like me!

I feel like I'm 12 again. I have been anxiously awaiting the review of my profile and I finally got the news today that (and I quote) "They loved my profile". Yay!!! I told Jeremy (my very sweet hubby) that I kind of felt like I am starting all over at a new school....I'm walking in the door of the cafeteria, not knowing what to expect, holding my breath. when a nice girl motions for me to sit next to her....Whew...Anyway, when I sighed my deep sigh of relief my hubby said, "Of course they love you...what's not to love?" Awww, nothing like scoring a few points before the hormones start up again right? So, next comes the match meeting and I can't wait! I'm so excited to meet them! I'll let you know how it goes...

The other side...

I have delved into this world of surrogacy because I want to help another couple experience the same joy as I have with my kiddos. Aside from all the chaos,fights, and messes that go along with raising two boys, they are so sweet. They make me smile every day and I simply can not picture my world with out them. I have thought a lot about couples that can not conceive. I think I can imagine what it would be like to be in the IP's shoes, but fact is, I don't. How could I ever possibly?

I stumbled upon a blog today of an IP's journey into surrogacy from the parents perspective and it brought me to tears. The struggles and the ups and downs of the whole process were heart wrenching. This discovery has shed a new light on the whole subject for me. I have seen things a little differently and I hope it will help me remember why I started this journey in the first place...especially when I do become pregnant and start complaining about heartburn, and swollen feet. =)

I know it will prove to be a positive experience for me. Yes, I will feel really good inside and yadda yadda yadda, but nothing compares to how the parents of the child(ren) will feel when all is said and done. For the parents, this is a dream come true! I feel like I could take all of the excitement and happiness I experience through this process and double it (or maybe quadruple it!) and it still wouldn't hold a candle to what these parents would feel. I gotta say, from my side, it feels really good to know that I get to play a part in helping them to achieve that happiness...I can't wait!

Just a quick little update...

So I have officially given the go ahead on starting over. I just got re-approved for the insurance, did all of my labs again and freshened up my original application/profile. It's hard to believe I filled that out a year ago! I thought for sure it would all be over and done by now. Anyway, I am now working on finding that perfect match and I think we may have found them. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it will all work out just as it should. Let the whirlwind begin...again.

The results are in...

Well I got the call yesterday and I am not pregnant. I'll start by saying I guess I am not that surprised because of the five embryos thawed on the last transfer, only one survived and it was a "C" quality. That was the one we implanted. I was really wishing and hoping for a miracle.

Now that this is done though, I have to say, I am bummed on so many levels. This is the end of my journey with these IP's. They only had 11 embryos to start and they are not going to go through the whole process again. Their attitude from the start was "Whatever is meant to be will be." I guess that is a good way to look at life. I have learned a lot from them and really grown close to them. I know certain people are put in our lives for a reason and I am thankful to have gone through this journey with them. They are wonderful parents already and hopefully I'll still get updates from time to time.

I will go for a "re-match" and post more on that journey to come. All I have to say is the next IP's have a tough act to follow. I hope we have a different outcome next time. What can I say...whatever is meant to be, will be.

To do List-Part II

Ok, so I finished my previous to do list. The next one was a little more difficult. At the top of that list was Learn to give self injections...YIKES! The injections have been a bit of a sore subject for me, excuse the pun. Although I have tried, for some reason my hands don't listen to my brain when it comes to causing bodily harm to my self. (I guess that is a good thing?) I was determined to get this checked off my list before I went to LA so the night before I left I went to work. I tried standing, lying down, and sitting. It turns out there is no "good" position to inject yourself in the rump. I had to have a pep talk inside my head. I felt like a football coach..."You can do this...Don't be a baby...etc..." Finally my strong will paid off. I was able to coach my hands to do what my brain didn't want them to do. If I can do that, I can do anything! Right?

So I kissed my sweet boys and my hunny goodbye and went out into the big world. My hubby told me to go ahead and get prego with another man's baby and to have some fun too...What a comedian.

So the list goes on...

9am Have a delicious breakfast-Check

10:30 am Embryo Transfer-Check

Now comes the fun part...bed rest. I can still remember the days telling my parents, "I'm bored." "I'm not tired." "There's nothing to do." etc... Look how far I've come. I have nowhere to be, nothing to do, and I have to stay in bed. I love it!

D (intended parent) has brought me lunch, cupcakes not once, but twice today, along with 3 pints of REAL ice cream (no low fat about this stuff). So sweet! (excuse the pun) I guess if I have trouble sleeping, I could just lay there in a self induced sugar coma. This is the life, eh?

Now we keep our fingers crossed for the next 10 days until we get our positive pregnancy test...

To Do Lists

I am preparing to go to LA for our second embryo transfer in the next few days. This time around my hubby won't be joining me with duty calls for work. :( So anyway, I have been going along and busily making my to do list and checking it twice, (for those who don't know, I love lists). I've been packing, doing laundry, cleaning, painting my toes, etc... (you see why I need the list) for the big day (part II) when I had the thought, "I don't think I have ever traveled with out my hubby!" I know it's not that big of a deal for all those seasoned travelers, but I have to admit I'm feelin' a bit nervous. I'm such a home-body!

So I decided to make a mental list of reasons my hubby should come with me. I spoke to him last night and he just gave me a big hug and said "I think this will be really good for you." He reminded me of all the day to day "stuff" that goes along with being a stay at home Mom. The cooking, cleaning, fighting kids, whining kids etc...He didn't get very far in his list of reasons I will love some time alone when I had an epiphany...It's going to be great! Yes it will be different and I will miss him and my boys...but I am really excited to go. I get to have adult conversation, spend time with my IP's, not to mention some R &R. When was the last time some one said you have to stay in bed for a few days? I am really feeling good about this. I guess I can cross "convince Jeremy to blow off work and go with me" off my list...Wish me luck!!!

Happy "Surro-Mamma's" Day!

Just had to give a quick shout out to all my Surro-Mammas out there. As if being a Mom isn't enough, a select few Moms have decided to help complete other families. It is truly a labor of love. Enjoy your day Surro-Mammas, you deserve it! I can't wait to join the club...my transfer date is quickly approaching.

Part 2 is a go!

Just thought I would update...I have been sooo bad about it lately!!! There has not really been a whole lot on the baby makin' front so it's been off my radar. Things are finally just starting to get going again though, so here it goes... I got the go ahead about a month ago to begin meds again, but when I stated thinking about dates I realized that an April transfer meant a Christmas time delivery. Yikes! I am so glad I checked that out! I talked with my IP's and we all agreed that we would wait until May. So, I got my new calender and it looks like we will be doing the transfer the last week in May. Something about a spring time transfer just feels right. Anyway, I am totally ready for everything (with the exception of injections) and I think everything will work out just as it should. Here we go!

On the bright side...

I got the official news and unfortunately it was negative. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bummed because I went in to this with such high expectations for the first round. When you stop to think about it though, as a surrogate you have to go into this process with high expectations. You have to believe it will happen on the first try and that everything will work out just as it should. There is definitely truth to the power of positive thinking. With that said, I am determined to have a positive outlook on this.

So in the spirit of looking on the bright side...
I get a break from the injections...woohoo! My poor bruised rump is in desperate need of a break.
I get to soak in the hot tub in the evenings.
I get to take scalding baths instead of showers.
Oh, and let's not forget that by having a later due date, I won't be as big as a house all Summer long...I may even be able to paint my own toes. =)

I know these are small things, but hey, it's those little things in life that makes me smile.

Anyway, I am not going to worry about it anymore because I know it will happen next time around...

The Big Day!

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. My Hubby and I went down to LA and had a great time with one of the IP's. The other couldn't make it...busy bringin' home the bacon. We did miss him, but never the less, we got some quality time all together. We did the Transfer of two frozen embryos on Thursday (2/4) and I am very optimistic. The whole experience was quite surreal... and surprisingly fast! I don't even think the natural way is as quick as IVF ;). So, as I said, I'm feelin' good about the whole thing. I go in for my test this weekend, if I can find a place open, and I'll post more then...
Oh, and I'm sending some peace, love and positive pregnancy tests to all the other February transfers! Good Luck!

We've set a date!

Wow! What a whirlwind this has been lately. We've got the legal stuff out of the way and I have my calender with all of the important dates. So I began my injections and I should start by saying that I am truly a "sissy girl" as some would say. There is just something about sticking yourself with a needle that just doesn't feel right to me. I was willing my hand to do it, "Hand, put the needle through my skin." It wouldn't listen...I had to have my hubby do it for me. Meanwhile I held on, white knuckled, to the towel bar in the bathroom and thankfully, it wasn't so bad.

So, next on my calender, the final ultra sound to check out my "beautiful uterus". (I know what you're thinking, but I'm not the one who says I have a beautiful uterus it's my doc.) and then....
Finally, the big day! I can't stop staring at the bright yellow highlighted day with two little words written...EMBRYO TRANSFER. I'm so excited-nervous-anxious all at once. Only 2 weeks left! It has been such a long haul and I am looking forward to the next stage. Wish me luck!

Here we go

Let's start from the very beginning...

First of all, let me just say that I (Heidi) never thought in a million years that I would be sitting here typing the start of my journey as a surrogate. I 'd have to say the seed was first planted (interesting choice of words) when I watched an Oprah on surrogacy and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was fascinated! The thing was that the surrogates featured were all in India and it made it seem so far removed.

A few months later, I started playing in a new bunco group and made up of local moms and wouldn't you know it, one of them (Stacie) was just beginning the process. Every month we played, she had something else to share and I continued peppering her with questions. Then Stacie brought a friend (Kelly) as a sub one night. Kelly had just delivered twins! Stacie delivered a healthy baby and they both loved it so much, they signed up to do it again. Now that I had seen that two normal moms could do it with a wonderfully rewarding outcome, (and be still be sane) I thought "Hey, I think I can do this too!"

So then I did my research, but by far the thing weighing most heavily on my mind was the fact that two women that I know had gone through the same agency (Growing Generations) and had great experiences. Word of mouth is always the best when it comes to these things. I won't go into all of the boring details of the application process,but let's just say, I first filed out the initial application in March 2009. They are very thorough...as they should be!

Here's the long and short of it...

So my hubby (Jeremy) and I flew down to LA did our medical screening, psycho test. Guess what? We passed! We're not crazy...at least not on most days. =) My thyroid was a little off so we had to adjust my meds and yadda yadda yadda. Got that cleared up, then we headed back to LA and were matched with a fabulous family. Yes I said family. *Side note they already have twin boys. (Just a little FYI I will refer to them as the Intended Parents to protect their privacy or IP's for short.)

The match meeting was like a blind date where you sit around and get to know each other and try to figure out when and where and how to get you knocked up the quickest. Awkward much? The IP's were so friendly and down to Earth though and Jeremy and I knew very early on that we wanted to work with them. Luckily they liked us too! Anyway, that brings us right about up to speed. We are now in the middle of the legal stuff.

I'll keep ya' posted...